最後一天

so this is the last day...
i don't want to go back. can't believe i'm even saying this. i wasn't like that in those half term breaks i had before. maybe it's the stress and social life back in school that make me nervous right now.

7 days later, i'll be sitting SATs. arghhhh.
future is so difficult for me to hold on tight. i really don't know what i should be doing. and i know i've been avoiding questions and stuff. probably because deep down inside, i don't really want all this to happen so quick. probably because i don't want these 2 years to end in just a blink of second.

sometimes i feel like i've done what i could do, but somehow things just can't turn out as the way i wish it to be. maybe i didn't try my best. but isn't it reasonable that i can be tired sometimes? that i don't want to make an effort to contrible in this so called social circle? i can't do it on my own.

i've been feeling that i'm left alone. i know they didn't want me to feel this way and i don't blame them. not asking them to make an effort right now, because i don't want to be too demanding. but only one single sentence from them can make my day. i wish they knew.

it's the last day. i can't imagine what's it going to be like in the following months...