tell me it's a dream

if everything's so messed up and uncoordinated, if things don't seem to be bright, then i'd really rather go back to a month ago and continue waiting. it might even be better if there was no news about you.

Working hard and hard. It's the feeling of pursuing a dream. It comes right back at me again. And I feel kinda good.

you can leave me alone now

everything's settled and still.

나 도...

진짜 보고십다.

첨부터 알았어 난

because i told myself to give up, because i've decided that i'd be better off caring about you, i really don't want to be linked to you in any way anymore. don't look at me that way, don't even try to start with that jealous tone and everything. stop trying to drag me over there again.

everytime i see you my heart skips a beat. the feeling is indescribible. so hollow and so painful.

but i'll be fine. i'll be over this soon. i won't get tired of this. i'll survive till i leave this place.

barae

life.
that's how they call it isn't it.

it's something that is full of contradictions. i think i've grown so bored of this place now, and i can't help but laugh at myself because 2 years ago, i was so fond of this place and the experience coming ahead of me.

it's so lame. i feel so guilty. i could've stayed and gained something different. i wouldn't have wasted time and money.

right now i can only convince myself the profit i got from here is something tremendous. that's what i hope.

snow is good for scenary

i'm so tired. not like physically (slept so much in hotel) but mentally. i guess coming back to school just automatically gives the message of 'working and stress' to my brain, even though i don't really have to work right now.

school's gonna start on monday. so i'm stuck in school. i guess life just tells me to revise more.
i better listen to what life tells me to do.

but. i miss Hong Kong so much. i didn't tell my parents but honestly, universities in Hong Kong is on top of my list right now. i hope they're happy with this.

---

man i hate you! i hate situations when people just stop talking at you without telling what happened. did i do something wrong? what mistake have i done this time?

i think people should fking grow up, or at least try to understand what i might feel.

fkit. seriously, fkit. i don't care what you're doing anymore. i'm fine without you communicating with me. i'm better fking off.

gradually recovering

i don't know why i feel like this when friends told me they broke up. i swear i've gotten over him. i'm sure about it. but then there's this really weird feeling, perhaps a happy-suprised feeling? i don't know.

and this leaves me feeling guilty.

i don't like me being emotionally controlled by guys.

but then i'm still really mad at H. so i guess as much as i dislike the fact that my mood is dependent on these guys, it's still one plain truth.

how sad T___T

anyway, few days before leaving Hong Kong. i have to buy things before i regret haha. ahhh so disappointed that the last few days of holiday end up like this, me being ill. i was hoping to do more...