感激!

So now you understand, don't you? I've been feeling so bad about this. I don't want myself to get too deep in this but then when I realized that my emotion became so dependent on this, I couldn't get away anymore. It's not as easy as it sounds.

I mean, of course I don't ~love~ these guys in a boy-girl way. How unrealistic is that? But I just can't stop thinking about them... I think this is called 乾女. Coz I have nothing else to place my passion on to, except for my academics. I don't even waste time on socialising here anymore. How sad is that?

I met friends through this. Okay I know I said they're not friends, but now I think about it, I do consider few of them as friends. We don't just talk about entertainment. We talk a lot. This is something I never expected... The other night I almost cried, and it was some of them who calmed me down. And it was someone who argued with others for me (haha that was actually somehow awkward). Maybe we're not close friends, but at least, they make me feel warmer than some of the girls here.

To be honest, if nothing big happened to 2PM, I wouldn't have fallen so deep. I don't know if it's my curiousity or just my passion on this sort of 'conspiracy theory' thing. I dig deeper after the leader left because he said "koreans are gay" on his myspace 4 years ago. It actually made me gain more interest in sociology (omg how embarrassing is this...)

I start to think what's right or wrong. Is it right to kick someone out of the country because he insult the nation? Even though if he didn't mean it? Just because he's a celebrity? And in Korea, they don't like the immigrants. They think that some people choose to live in other countries because they want to escape from military service. Okay so is that wrong? Do the kids, the following generation of those who left the country are the one to be blamed?

Supposed they're not faking anything (even though I know they do), how can people who don't know them judge what they did was wrong or not? Just because the members didn't speak up for the leader, does that mean they're betrayers? I'm not investigating their case here, I'm thinking why people can't think rationally. So saving a leader's innocence is correct, then abandoning their own efforts, their family, their dream is correct? I don't get why people think like this. And how can they say that they know everything when they know that these members are just product, just dolls for the company to gain profit? Can they say much? There isn't equality in the industry anyway. Why do they think that they have the right now blame the members and bash them and swear at them? And so does it mean that they're not friends with the leader anymore if they choose fame? How do we know? Why do people speak for that leader before he actually comes out and say something? What if he actually encourage the members to pursue their dream instead of caring him? Who's right or wrong then? What if the leader insist?


Man why do people blame the others like they already know what happened? So freaking unfair.


The media is too scary.




LONG RANT HELLO!? :I